Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?

I could really use a wish right now (1)

I’m sitting in an airport bar right now as I write today’s post. My plane was supposed to leave at 6:30pm, but here it is 10pm and I still haven’t left. After 4 delays, I really COULD use a wish right now. I’m now scheduled to take off at 12:15am, so we’ll see how that goes.

When you book an evening flight, it’s understandable that you might be delayed a bit. Things happen, flights take off late, it’s raining, someone barfed; I get it. But to delay 6 MOTHERFUCKING HOURS, I call that bullshit. I asked why we were delayed; maybe it was due to the light ‘mist’ we’re getting here in New England – no, we’re delayed because someone called off and there was NO BACK UP FLIGHT ATTENDANT. If I decided not to show up to work and didn’t tell my colleagues how they could keep business moving at a reasonable pace, well, I think we’d call that FIRED. All I have to say is Delta had better give me a refund. Don’t worry, I already tweeted at them so it’s just a matter of time. I mean, I’m a rewards member for God’s sake, I have their credit card. I deserve SOMETHING.

I don’t know why I’m even surprised, Boston Logan International Airport is the worst. My flights are always delayed here and the restaurants are always closed. Let’s be real, I never make time to eat so by 10pm I’m FUCKING HANGRY. I’ll settle for wine though. Also, I always have to wait 45 minutes for my luggage at Logan. Like, are these people retarded? Detroit takes 5 minutes. #DetroitVsEverybody

Speaking of Detroit, DTW is the best airport I’ve ever been to, hands down. Flights are on time, there’s plenty of activities, and my luggage comes in 5 minutes. It’s the heaven of airports. If Detroit sucks at everything else (which it doesn’t), it wins at air travel.

So what do you do in an airport for 6 hours to keep yourself busy? You write blog posts. And you take snap chats. And you drink wine. I drank enough wine that I decided to snap Kim Kardashian, so if she answers I’ll let you know.  I really hope I get so drunk that I’m the one that barfs on the plane. Take that Delta.

If I offended you, good. Because I just don’t give a fuck (2).

Credit where credit is due –

  1. Airplanes – BoB, Hayley Williams
  2. Still Don’t Give A Fuck – Eminem